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Gwendolyn patted Carson's shoulder; feeling as patting his knee would be to close to his crotch and wow they aren't even dating, so that would be extremely weird.
She then stood up and stretched, placing her interlaced fingers behind her head and bending slightly backwards.
She yawned, using her hand to cover her mouth, and looked down at Carson, who was still sitting down
"I guess I better go" she said awkwardly, rubbing her elbow.
"Aw, do you have to? Can't you stay a little longer?" Carson offered a sweet smile. He was half teasing, wanting to see her reaction to the offer.
Gwendolyn tipped her chin downwards towards him, she shrugged
"if you want." She said
"Well then get back over here. Now I'm cold and you need to fix it." He pouted, reaching out like a child for her to come back to his arms.
Gwendolyn gave a soft, yet solid laugh. She then sat next to Carson and snuggled into him again, burying her face in his chest.
Carson wrapped his arms around her, gladly snuggling Gwen into his chest with a content sigh. "See? Much better than going home to be all by yourself."
Gwendolyn gave a strong, brisk laugh. She untangled herself from Carson, and stood up again.
"I have to go– unless you want me to spend the night–?" she said with a hopeful tone, and her eyebrow went down in a ask me face.
Carson smiled knowingly. "Would you please? I don't have class tomorrow and it's my day off so we can just stay here." He batted his eyes dramatically, holding back a laugh.
Gwendolyn gave a soft smile, then her face went dark for a few seconds.
"But I– I don't have any clothes with me and I— I" she stuttered, her face turning a light pink color, her upturned almond eye's blinked rapidly in fear.
But that mean's he'll hear me in the middle of the night, when my voice sounds as manly as it seems she thought.
"Gwen, relax. I've got some old oversized hoodies and sweatpants that you can borrow so you don't have to worry about me seeing anything if you don't want me to." Carson offered softly, trying to calm her down.
Gwendolyn gave a solid nod, and her entire body relaxed into itself, she slid down on the couch beside Carson and turned to him, a soft smile pasted on her face.
"Okay– yeah okay" she said quietly "I don't have anything to do tomorrow, so maybe I could cook for you." She added quickly, her smile still solid.
"I make a bomb ass homemade mac-n-cheese" she said, her pointer finger waving around in the air.
"Ooo, that sounds so good. Alright then, I expect mac and cheese tomorrow." Carson took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're safe here, I promise. You'll never have to worry about hiding for my comfort."
Gwendolyn gave a soft smile again, and a small nod, she inclined herself towards him, engulfing him in her arms, and squeezing, she rested her head on his shoulder and let herself enjoy the hug.
Carson was a bit surprised but gladly hugged her back, sighing contently. He enjoyed Gwen's company and was happy that he could make her comfortable within his when it was clear she had been nervous.
Gwendolyn enjoyed the hug and inhaled Carson's scent.
She then slowly pulled away.
"Right, I'm gonna go get your temporary hiding items, I'll be back. I'd call them pajamas but you already came in your pajamas so I can't." He laughed and pushed himself off the couch to go get her things.
Gwendolyn smiled at him and watched him go from the couch.
She liked him alot and she knew he liked her too, which meant this relationship could be something special, something she was excited for the future, when their relationship bloomed and blossomed.
Never had a boyfriend before she thought to herself, and then smiled.
Carson came back from his room a few minutes later carrying a small pile of gray material. "Here we are. Your oversized clothing has been delivered m'lady." Carson chuckled as he dropped it into Gwen's lap.
Gwendolyn stood up and looked around, once again enjoying the view of the way Carson decorated.
"Wheres the bathroom?" she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, she felt her heartbeat in her chest then turned her gaze to the ground, she hated it. She hated being afraid of Carson, she liked him; possibly even loved him, yet she couldn't tell the difference yet. She looked up at him and felt her face redden.
"Carson?" she asked all of her confidence going into the question she was about to ask, her knee's felt weak and they slightly shook.
"Shh, it's okay Gwen." He gently rested his hands on her shoulders, keeping back so she knew he wouldn't try to do anything. "Down the hall, second door on the left."
(sorry shes a mess but its her fear of people distrusting and not liking her anymore bc shes trans that gets to her alot-)
Gwendolyn nodded quickly and hurried down the hall, and into the bathroom, there she looked into the mirror on the wall above the sink, she saw a few light hairs sprouting on her upper lip and sighed.
"Get it together Gwen" she into the mirror, her voice shaky as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, she gazed into the mirror, and this time she saw the ghost of the person she used to be. She liked to think of him as a completely different person, as if he wasn't a part of her.
She avoided looking in the mirror until after she had changed, she took the pajamas she had been wearing and folded them neatly, a skill her mother taught her when she was younger.
She looked in the mirror one last time, and this time she saw everything she was and had always wanted to be; a girl.
She exited the bathroom, and sat her folded clothes on the couch, and pulled Carson up by the wrists
"i'm tired, lets go to bed." She said to him, a small smile grazing her lips.
(No it's fine! It's adds to her character)
"Alright, alright. To bed we go." Carson switched her hands from his wrists to entwine their fingers as he led her to his room. "Sorry it's a mess, it's kinda how I live." His room was a bit cluttered but definitely could be worse as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
Gwendolyn sat next to him, and gave his arm a slight tug, she leaned her head on his shoulder, she closed her eye's and enjoyed his warmth and his scent, soft yet masculine.
"Carson? have you ever been in love?" she said, tightening her grip on his hand.
She exhaled into his shoulder, and suddenly her closed eyes gave her daydreams of herself smiling as Carson spun her around, it looked as if they were dancing, Carson's hair was a bit longer, she could tell because his bun was slightly bigger.
She smiled into his shoulder and she realised as the daydream them spun around, there was a child standing a watching, giggling madly. She opened her eyes and stared at the wall, to scared to close her eyes again.
She had wanted children, but that was impossible except for surrogacy or adoption.
But the kid was quite cute, wasn't he? she thought to herself, with a faint smile.
Carson sat and thought for a minute. "I don't think so. I've had crushes before but love is serious. I've never been willing to say that I love someone. I've had a rule since I was young that if I doubted that I totally and completely loved someone even a little, I wouldn't say it. Because I love you is serious and I don't want to waste it."
Gwendolyn nodded swiftly and smiled at him.
Her face heated up, and she could feel her cheeks heating up, and she covered her smile with her hand, she then looked at Carson. She decided just then, after he had finished speaking that she did love him, but she would keep that secret to herself.
She pushed him backwards, gripping his wrists.
"Wrestling Match!" She said, she grimaced as she realised this was something she had done with friends and cousins around her age, before she transitioned, but even so, she still watched womens wrestling, so eh, whatever she thought.
She then pasted a semi smile on her lips.